Will everybody be okay in the end? In fairytales, yes. In real life, maybe not so much. If we work hard enough, we can maintain a tolerable life at its worst and, at its best, offer enough of a glimmer of hope to move on. First-time director Elizabeth Chomko provides the most authentic movie of 2018 with the touching and sentimental What The Had, a look at Alzheimer’s Disease/dementia (I don’t think it is ever specified) that hits you like a ton of bricks. Predecessors like the slightly overrated Still Alice, the underrated Away From Her, the brutally honest The Savages, and the Nicholas Sparks/Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams’ Welcome to Hollywood’ tearjerker The Notebook. None of these four pretty terrific movies could do what What They Had was able to do, which was to make it real for me. By the end of this movie, I was lost in all of the major characters and was on the verge of tears at the movie theater for the first time since 2016 (keep in mind that I see over 50 movies a year in the movie theater). A movie that likely will get snubbed by all Oscar nominations, What They Had is real, brutally honest, and feels like it could be a true story about the family down the street from you, if not your family together.
Nick (Michael Shannon – Take Shelter, The Shape of Water) receives a phone call in the middle of the night. He muffles a few words and says, “I’ll be there.” Instantly, we know that this is not an irregular occurrence. Nick is the oldest of two adult children to aging father Burt (Robert Forster – Jackie Brown, The Descendants) and dementia-riddled mother Ruth (Blythe Danner – The Lightkeepers, The Last Kiss). Nick seems to be Burt’s lifeline whenever something goes wrong. When we meet our characters for the first time, it is because Ruth has wandered out of the Chicago home that she shares with her husband in the middle of the night. Also, it’s Christmas Eve, and a snowstorm outside. Within a couple of days, Nick is picking up his sister Bridget (Hillary Swank – Million Dollar Baby, Boys Don’t Cry) and her college-aged daughter Emma (Taissa Farmiga – The Mule, The Nun), and the family are attempting to come up with a plan for Ruth. Nick and Bridget are ready to make it abundantly clear that Burt can no longer care for his wife alone.
But how do you convince a stubborn and loving husband who has an undying love for his wife that he can no longer care for his wife and that moving her to a beautiful assisted living facility is the right move? How do you help him understand the precious memories that he shared with his wife, such as their first dates, their wedding, and their children, and all of the good and bad times in between are coming to an end due to her memory loss? The love they shared might be present for Burt, but this is something of the past for Ruth. She’s alive physically and emotionally, but mentally, she is not the person she was. And who has the ultimate say in this decision? An aging man who is struggling with his health issues and really cannot view the situation without subjectivity? Or the adult children, who can view things more objectively and know the condition, the factors, and the many opportunities out there? And when is the right time for the torch-passing of the caring of an elderly parent from the spouse to one or more of the children?
These questions are at the forefront of the movie and are presented in ways that are sometimes funny and sometimes tragic but always very real. Trying to handle Ruth’s situation with dignity and grace when some of her actions and words are anything but dignified or graceful. However, while they handle Ruth’s disease with class, the movie is as much about the other characters’ lives as hers. As mentioned, we have Burt, who is dealing with his health conditions and is so set in his ways and his thoughts, like many others of his generation, that convincing him that he can no longer do something that he believes he can do is like trying to make an elephant jump.
We also have Bridget, a loveless relationship with Eddie (a completely unneeded Josh – Lucas – Glory Road, Sweet Home Alabama), and a daughter who is not quite following the college path that he had hoped for her. Nick owns a relatively unsuccessful bar. He’s making ends meet, but it doesn’t feel like he’s living the dream he had planned. He’s a man pained by past decisions and current indecisions in his private and personal life, one of which was his constant struggle to please his father. He can do nothing that measures up to what Burt had planned for him. He’s in a struggling relationship with a woman to whom he can’t seem to commit. He has a father who he pretty sure loves him, but he is uncertain whether he’s proud of the man he’s become.
Nick and Bridget also have a small sibling rivalry. It’s understated and quiet and seems to have much to do with her living in California while he has to deal alone with all of the problems with Burt and Ruth. It’s that often unspoken (and frequently spoken) communication when dealing with an aging parent or parents of, “I’ve been dealing with this for years. When’s it going to be your turn?” This isn’t precisely what Nick says or overtly implies, but it is something that Bridget feels and understands. She’s been dodging the problems in Chicago that Nick has to deal with daily. But, like Nick, Bridget has her own life and her own issues. On the exterior, it looks like she has everything in order. She lives in California rather than in the freezing winter in Chicago. She is prospering in her career as a chef. She’s married to a successful man and has a loving daughter who she believes is thriving in college.
But all isn’t well with her below the surface, and some of her actions, while she is with her mother, father, brother, and sister in Chicago, show that she might be the most unstable of everyone in the family. She makes some of the most questionable decisions of all of the characters (at least of the characters who know what they are doing), and she affects not just her life but the lives of many others, innocent people, as well. The love she sees between her parents perfectly illustrates the loveless marriage in her own life. And she doesn’t do well with it. Swank brings out the inherent complexities in Bridget’s character.
This movie will touch your heart. The acting is some of the finest of the year. Even though Michael Shannon seems to be in every film, he and the more selective Swank have instant chemistry. You’ll believe that they are brother and sister and that their issues with each other in the present have deep roots. However, you’ll also think there is love between these two characters, that they have each other’s backs, and when one suffers, the other suffers. Foster’s filmography might be the longest I’ve ever seen, but he’s never been finer. He can play one heck of a villain, but this role is where he is anything but. It reminded me of James Gandolfini’s final role in Enough Said. This film likewise starred an actor who was notorious for playing a bad guy but showed just how talented he was in a role that was, in a way, career-redefining. The same could be said of Foster. For a directorial debut, Chomko couldn’t have done better. While What They Had didn’t make much money at the box office (just $260,000, good for the 386th-ranked movie in terms of revenue), it scored 87% with critics and 83% with audiences on Rotten Tomatoes. It makes no sense that this film earned so little. What They Had was a great movie. Swank, Shannon, Foster, Lucas, and Farmiga could have all worked for free, and this movie would have still lost money 🙁
Plot 10/10
Character Development 8.5/10 (coming to terms with circumstances such as the one presented in this movie will develop any good character/actor)
Character Chemistry 9/10
Acting 9/10
Screenplay 9/10
Directing 9/10
Cinematography 8.5/10 (you could feel the Chicago cold)
Sound 7.5/10
Hook and Reel 9/10
Universal Relevance 10/10
89.5%
B+
Movies You Might Like If You Liked This Movie
- Away From Her
- Still Alice
- Pieces of a Woman
- Fathers and Daughters
- The Father