Nicole Holofcener’s (Friends With Money, Love, and Amazing) You Hurt My Feelings is a less affecting version of her 2013 critically acclaimed and well-received Enough Said. Each movie’s watch went down like a tasty new beverage, but then quickly forgotten as soon as we tried something new. In addition to being a better movie, Enough Said was the final movie of the late James Gandolfini and one that allowed him to shed the exterior of Tony Soprano in favor of a softer, more vulnerable character. Each movie starred Julia Louis-Dreyfus (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Hannah and Her Sisters) in, perhaps, her two best non-television roles.

You Hurt My Feelings is a  heartfelt, realistic portrayal of how we view our self-worth in our given professions. For some of us, a large part of our existence is based upon our self-worth within our profession. I can speak for myself in that my profession is my identity as much as any other aspect of my life. I’m driven to make an impact. As an introvert without a family of my own, often the only time I constantly interact with people in a given is when I am at work. My first verbal communication in the morning is with the first colleague I see at the office (unless I treat myself to a couple of delicious Dunkin Donuts on the way in).

Often, my last verbal interaction in a day is when I’m leaving work. I do plenty of texting and online chatting in the evening, but that is when I’m at home in front of the television, curled up for the evening. In my late 40s, my mantra has become, “How quickly can I get home to my couch for the night? And that is not to say that I don’t have many hobbies and interests outside of work because I do. I’d even argue that I have more hobbies and interests than many people, with reasons for those existing beyond the topic of this conversation. Almost all of those interests/hobbies involve doing things alone (or with my dog). While this is mostly by choice, it hasn’t always been. Again, it is a different topic of conversation. However, my profession has been the most consistent part of my identity. It is also something that I am very good at and one in which I impact my community. The relationship between profession, self-worth, and occupational contentment resonated with me.

Our story has four protagonists. Beth (Louis-Dreyfus), a novelist, is married to Don (Tobias Menzies – Black Sea, Underworld: Blood Wars), a therapist. Sarah (Michaela Watkins – Good Boys, Brittany Runs a Marathon), a designer, is married to Mark (Arian Moayed – Rosewater, Retribution), an actor. Beth and Don are portrayed as happy and successful in their profession, at least in their own eyes. Sarah has grown miserable in her profession. Mark has been unsuccessful with his acting career and is on the verge of abandoning it for something more professional.

The relationships between the two couples are strong, as well as their friendships, particularly between Beth and Sarah, as well as Don and Mark. The counterparts are their confidants. That is until the two pairs, unbeknownst to each other, find themselves at the same bookstore, where Beth and Sarah overhear Don telling Mark he doesn’t like Beth’s new book. He doesn’t so much as slam the novel as he does. He mentions how it doesn’t resonate with him. It’s one of the most mature ways criticism could be offered. The problem, however, is that Don keeps this from Beth, leading her to believe that he enjoys her writing. The rejection of her in her chosen profession is devastating enough, but to be kept in the dark about it might even be worse.

Don not liking Beth’s book is, essentially, the entire conflict of the movie. Holofcener could have taken this conflict in a variety of directions. It could have led to anger, betrayal, revenge, a war of words, etc. Or it could have led to some wild and absurd attempt to make a mockery out of what some might consider so trivial. Holofcener doesn’t go in either direction. Instead, her story has two leads who encounter the problem head-on and deal with it as partners who love each other. It would, perhaps, be human nature for Beth to seek some retribution for how the betrayal she feels. And there is, but it is in a very loving way.

Don, who thinks of himself as an accomplished therapist, runs into a few new situations with a few of his clients where some newly discovered criticism outweighs any praise. Specifically, one client was heard saying his virtual session was worthless before he had closed the Zoom window. A married couple Don has been seeing for two years wants their thousands of dollars back because they feel they are not getting their money’s worth in their joint therapy sessions. In a moment of levity, the couple is requesting a $30,000 refund, which they say is one of the only things they’ve agreed on in the two years they’ve been seeing Don.

The film explores praise and criticism. While it’s human nature to seek praise over criticism, is that always best for us if it isn’t genuine? Disenguine praise can be more detrimental than constructive criticism, despite the former being easier to offer than the latter. Where do elements of trust fall in our intimate relationships where we are not truthful with each other because we want to spare their feelings? We get a delicate, firsthand look at how this couple works through this. Holofcener examines the issue and how it impacts other parts of the relationship. There is no hostility. It is not an uncomfortable experience for the moviegoer, including those watching the film and going through a similar experience.