Dark humor movies aren’t my thing. They have never been. They never will be. I want my comedies to my funny. I want my dramas to be full of drama. I do like a lot of dramedies, but, to me, dark humor movies don’t fall into that category. I also like movies that make me think, keep me entertained, or, preferably, both. Jon Watts’s (The Amazing Spider-Man 3, Clown) Cop Car did neither of these things for me. While I understand there are many critics of Indie films out there who will enjoy this film, this is a movie to avoid for the everyday moviegoer. I feel like this is the top movie for many movie fans that you’ll ask yourself how you can get those 90 minutes of your life back. For me, the film had promise. I felt that it was building towards something good. Unfortunately, it never came close to reaching what I had hoped for, at least for me. It actually didn’t come close.

Kevin Bacon (Footloose, Mystic River) stars as Sheriff Kretzer, a no bones about it dirty cop. Set in the rural midwest in a state that I don’t think is ever stated (if it is, it’s not essential), this movie has just five characters. The premise is simple (and also dumb). Two 10-year old boys stumble upon an empty cop car. Harrison (Hays Wellford) and Travis (James Freedson-Jackson – television’s The Black List) walk through an open field. It’s a day like any other, ordinary in every sense except for this abandoned sheriff’s car that sits idle on a side road, a bottle of beer resting on the hood. The curious boys dare each other to get closer and closer to the car. Before we know it, they have found the keys (laying on the seat) and have figured out how to get the vehicle moving despite not knowing a thing about driving. Kretzer is all kinds of flustered when he comes back and sees his car gone.

So this is a story? If it sounds boring, you’re right. But maybe not in the sense that you might think. For me, the movie got exciting. However, I did like its minimalist approach. I don’t think this movie cost very much to make. I think its two leads (Bacon and Shea Whigham – Take Shelter, All the Real Girls) even took less money to make this movie. This I am not sure of, but I don’t think this movie would have been able to land two big names had they not decided to take less. From the onset, Watts knew this movie wouldn’t gross a ton at the theaters and therefore couldn’t offer outrageous amounts of money to the actors. I liked that we never really learned everything we would typically learn about a movie’s lead characters. There are just five characters in the film. The four mentioned above, plus a curious onlooker (Camryn Manheim – television’s The Practice, television’s The Ghost Whisperer) who sees the two ten-year-olds cruising in the cop car and deduces to put her best detective skills to use.

You would think we’d be able to delve into the personalities of a movie that has just five characters a bit more than you do with Cop Car. There is as much mystery surrounding the characters at the movie’s end as there is at the beginning. I’m not sure that’s usually a good thing, but it works for me here for whatever reason. I like mysterious characters. It was the story that felt deflating. As mentioned, there was so much promise. We wondered what Kretzer would do to get his car back and why he was hellbent on finding it as quickly and quietly as possible. Sure, it looks bad if a cop car is stolen. But let’s assume that everything else in the scenario is fine, and another officer finds the car. Kretzer probably gets a slap on the wrist. Maybe he gets suspended for a couple of days. But probably all else is fine. So why does he get so maniacal about this car? Well, therein lies the real story of the movie.

You’ve got two different movies here for sure. The first half doesn’t lend itself to the second half very well. I liked the first half much more than the second. But what ties the two stories together is the loss of innocence in the two young boys. Is it enough to see the film? For most people, it probably is not. But if you like the Indies, you might dig this one. For those fans, I think you’d be fine seeing it or skipping it.

Plot 7.5/10
Character Development 6.5/10
Character Chemistry 5.5/10
Acting 7/10
Screenplay 6/10
Directing  6/10
Cinematography 10/10
Sound 7.5/10
Hook and Reel 7.5/10 (the second half lost me)
Universal Relevance 5/10 (despite the circumstance that anyone could stumble upon an abandoned cop car in their lives, this movie was just way too far out there for me)
77.5%

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